Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
