you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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