I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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