Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
