p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
