No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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