I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
