South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
