i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
