and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
