I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
There's a naked man in my car right now.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
