Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
