K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
