What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
