Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
