Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She told me I should be a condom model.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
