I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
