So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
