Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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