o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
My penis needs a shock collar
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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