I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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