Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
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I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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