Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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