Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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