Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
