i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
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