we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You are the jesus of drinking
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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