Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize
