I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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