stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Do vagina's smell?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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