are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
