Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
