Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
