girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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