I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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