Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
