I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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