If i could tip my vagina, i would.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
The adults are the big ones right?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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