Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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