wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
