She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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