scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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