i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
