So drunk its hurt
That's intense
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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