i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
