I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Randomize
