Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize