look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
