he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
