youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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