Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
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