Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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