Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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