Yo dont text me then not text me
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
