What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
