Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
