pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
