Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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