you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i dont even know how to be here
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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