When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
