So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
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