I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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